Travel sores (what I haven’t missed in lockdown)

I’m increasingly confident that our twice postponed holiday to Corfu might actually go ahead this year.

We enjoyed our 2019 holiday on the island so much that we booked to go again in May last year.

That was cancelled, obviously, so we re-booked for Easter 2021 thinking the coronavirus would be long gone by then.

I can’t remember when the penny dropped that travel restrictions might still be in place in April but we took it on the chin and transferred the booking again, this time to October.

Even now there is talk of needing a vaccine passport to travel but if that’s the case so be it. Is it really that much of an imposition?

Assuming you’ve had the vaccine, I can’t imagine it will be any more difficult than applying for an Esta to enter the United States.

And it certainly won’t be as bad as all the other inconveniences of travelling abroad because one thing I haven’t missed this past year is the airport ‘experience’.

To begin with there’s the car parking (long or mid stay) and the wait for a swaying shuttle bus on which you will probably have to stand, gripping a hand rail or strap to stop you falling over.

That’s followed by the misery of the airport security queue and the long wait in a packed departure ‘lounge’.

(To be fair, I am so paranoid about missing my flight, having once missed a flight, that I insist on arriving hours in advance.)

Then, when invited to proceed to the departure gate (where seats are at a premium, forcing many if not every passenger to stand), there’s yet another queue.

Budget airlines are the worst because often you have to stand in line before the incoming plane has even arrived.

Sometimes (Ryanair/Stansted comes to mind) passengers queue at the gate, and then beyond the gate, before being herded on to another shuttle bus.

Even when the bus parks next to the plane passengers may be kept on - sometimes in stifling heat - until the cabin crew are ready to let you board, at which point the doors on the bus slide open and it’s every man, woman and child for themselves.

(I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been near the head of the queue at the departure gate only to find myself at the back of the queue to board the plane.)

And that’s even before you’ve battled fellow passengers for overhead luggage space and squeezed into your seat.

As for the person in front who insists on reclining their seat within minutes of take-off, don’t get me started.

I know these are well-worn complaints but knowing that other people suffer too doesn’t make it any better.

In fact, on second thoughts, I might just stay at home.

PS. I’ve just remembered that when we went to Corfu two years ago the return journey was blighted by a four-hour delay at the airport.

In relation to a week-long holiday it was a relatively minor inconvenience but you can still do without it.

I’m reminded too that in the small and over-crowded departure area, waiting for another flight, was none other than Laurence Fox.

Whatever happened to him?