Talking cigarette packs? Po-faced puritans are deadly serious

Scotland on Sunday has an interesting little story:

Talking cigarette packs to encourage quitters

I've known about it for a few days because the paper rang Forest on Thursday for a quote for what was described as "a bit of a funny story".

I decided to play along and responded as follows:

"I can't imagine anything more attractive to a child than a pre-recorded message. It's like a talking birthday card.

"The more gruesome the message the more enticing it will be. That's why horror films are popular with teenagers.

"The voice will be crucial. Consumers may want a choice of gender, or regional accent, like you get on a sat nav system.

"If the idea takes off I look forward to similar warnings when you open a bottle of beer or unwrap a bar of chocolate."

I did contemplate going further with Forest's response but a little voice (no pun intended) told me not to get carried away.

For example, in the back of my mind I was thinking, "Imagine if the pack opened to the sound of a creaking door followed by the voice of Christopher Lee ... or Freddy Krueger."

Far more bad taste jokes entered my head but (thankfully) stayed there. I'm itching to say what they were!